Holiday apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. If you don't have any money, be creative. If you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Make it purple. Make it pink. Make it plaid. Already have a Santa suit? Bring spare parts for the Santafication of strangers. Past examples: Santa Claws, Santa Garcia, Santa's naughty little helper, misfit toy, elf, grinch, angel, Jesus, snowman, nutcracker, reindeer. Shit -- in past years we've had a chicken, a panda, a bunny, and a french monkey, so we're pretty flexible here.
Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Santa Claus is friendly, respectful, and cooperative with cops, security guards, park rangers, and store owners and doesn't break any laws!!! "Disorderly Conduct" is not a city in China. Have your own special twisted fun, but DON'T MESS IT UP FOR THE REST OF US. Our santas do not destroy property, steal merchandise, or do harm to others. The authorities and local businesses usually take Santa's antics in the loving holiday spirit Santa intends, so be nice to them.
The "schedule" is open to liberal interpretation by Santa at all times. Unlike many cities, Orlando has no pre-planned list of stops (it's Santarchy, not santa-barcrawl). There is no Santa in charge to call. If you can't show up for the start, get the cell number of someone who can help you catch up later (or follow on Twitter).
Santa does not make children cry. Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. (Feel free to abuse their parents).
Santa dresses for all occasions. It's December. Smart Santas wear mutliple costume layers. Dress to maximize merriment whether singing christmas carols in the snow, or swinging from a stripper pole.
Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not. Don't be that Santa.
Pay your own god damn bar tab. Tip the bartenders generously for putting up with us.
Memorize these answers to important questions that may arise:
Who's in charge? "Santa"
What organization are you with? "Santa"
What are you protesting? "Shitty holiday parties"
(note: WE ARE NOT PROTESTERS!! We'd need a permit for that - and something serious to complain about...)
How did you get here? "A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer"
Where are you going next? "I'm only allowed to tell you if you wear this hat and buy me a beer."
Any other question: "HO!" (best coupled with a slight pause and a stupid look on your face).